The contributor of this testimonial, who has requested to keep her identity confidential, is currently not a member of SGI but has started chanting daimoku for around one and a half month. During this period, she experienced a significant improvement in her life and is continuing to chant daily. Read on to find out more about what she gone through.
Since childhood, I have always faced one problem or another…
I had a very unhappy family where my father used to beat my mother and I a lot. As a result, I always remain under panic and in fear.
I used to cry through whole nights and many times attempted suicide without success. It is said that if you are unhappy from within, you can’t foster good relationships in future too.
That is precisely what happened with me. In my late teens and 20s, I faced one break-up after another. None of my relations worked, as I was unhappy and hollow from within.
At home, the atmosphere was still the same and I used to be filled with indescribable hatred towards my father, whenever I chance to see him using “ill” words with my mother.
Years passed like this with me growing more helpless, frustrated, and angry from inside.
Then, last year, I finally made up my mind to end this forever. I decided to kill either my father or myself. I pondered about this day and night, feeling restless and not able to decide what I was doing is right or wrong.
Then, one day while sitting in a library, I came across an article by an YWD member who was telling her experience about achieving mental clarity and victory in adverse situations.
Rather, reluctantly, I noted down ‘Nam-myoho-renge-kyo’ in my diary and went home.
At home, I forgot all about it and sat ruminating again over my problems.
Then, one day I saw a girl reading a book in the Metro. I was standing behind her and could see what she was reading. There, I read the words, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo the second time.
At that time, I had my earphones on and was listening to my favorite song. Somehow, these words stuck themselves to my mind, and almost unknowingly, I began to mentally chant them on the rhythm of the song even after reaching at work.
During then, I was not aware that I was chanting the daimoku of the Lotus Sutra or the Mystic Law.
It was just some unfamiliar sounding words that have mystically attached themselves to the tune of the song.
That night, on reaching home, I narrowly escaped having a bad verbal spat with my father. Instead, after the initial heat of the moment, I began to feel pity on him, that he doesn’t know what he is doing and he would be punished for all his misdeeds in the next life.
This thought made me realize that even what I was thinking was absolutely horrendous and how can I hope to make my mother and I happy after committing such a deed.
This realization came as a stroke of lightning to me and I began to literally tremble on thinking about the consequences of my thoughts and actions should I have acted on those them.
The next day, I searched on the Internet for the words, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, and read the entire philosophy behind this practice.
From that day, I began to chant these words daily for 20-30 minutes while commuting and believe me; I began to see a remarkable change in my attitude and nature.
Earlier, I used to flare up at every single sentence said by my father. Now, we have even begun to talk each other over small family matters even if for just for 10 minutes.
It has been just one and a half months since I started chanting but it has already erased the hatred and anger welled up inside me for the last 32 years, of course bit by bit.
I am truly thankful to this Law that it has saved me from falling into the clutches of devil and restored my mental peace and calm and that just too in less than two months.
Of course, I still have my bouts of anger and frustration but they are much short lived and I am able to control myself better now.