Despite her illness, Lyn Si continued to strengthen her faith, participate in kosen-rufu activities and even encouraged her friends when she was hospitalized. She was one strong girl and Mr Quah, her father is sharing with us her final victories and her prayers when she moved on. Lyn Si was a role model to many, as shown by her friends’ and nurses’ posting on her Facebook wall.
She realised it was difficult for members like her, who could not read Mandarin to sing in Mandarin as the lyrics did not have hanyu pingyin – the romantised version of the Chinese characters.
She took the initiative to translate one and sent it to her leader by email for sharing on 2 Nov 2010.
On 3 Nov, Lyn Si was supposed to see her doctor to review her blood. She seemed reluctant to leave the house that morning with tears on her cheeks while she did her morning Gongyo.
Lyn Si must have guessed what would become of her life then, but she just kept it to herself, not wanting to worry her family. She was advised by her doctor to be admitted at the hospital that morning, as she felt tired and breathless when climbing up the stairs to her room. It was because her white blood count has risen to more than normal.
During her stay at the hospital she continued to have dialogue with friends, giving them encouragements over the Internet. She had remained cheerful and happy throughout her stay, touching many of her nurse’s hearts.
Even after her doctor announced in Oct 2010 that her leukaemia has gone to the brain, where no further treatment or bone marrow transplant could help her to recover, she did not give up hope.
She stayed strong and courageous and without wasting any of her precious time she chanted more, determined to win no matter what.
On 10 Nov 2010, she wrote on her blog…
“1st, life build u up…
then, knock u down…
then, gather the pieces and rebuild u stronger….
well, at least when ur on the ground u don’t give up…
easy said than done… life is a struggle, it’s harsh and brutal…
but with some hope, support and some advice…u may turn out just out right…
we’re here to walk our boats of life, so, walk it wise and walk it right.”
She struggled to complete one of her missions on 12 Nov 2010, setting 47 trial questions to share with members sitting for the SGM entrance level exam in Dec 2010.
An X-ray showed her lungs collapsed on the night of 13 Nov 2010 when she needed more oxygen to help her breath. However, she could still manage to walk to the toilet on 14 Nov 2010 morning but felt weaker that night.
She was chanting in her heart throughout the night and so did her mother at her bedside.
She passed away peacefully on 15 Nov 2010 morning at 8.47am with her parents chanting beside her, after telling them she was tired and wanted to sleep.
Lyn Si persevered to the final moment of her life as she continued doing kosen-rufu and chanting daimoku to the final moment.
Her appearance at the moment of death showed an inner radiance – the joyful expression (her face smiling); the noble expression who shines with the triumph of a lofty mission fulfilled, imparting courage and hope to all beholders (her family).
The following prayers of hers were written on a piece of paper placed in her bead case:
1. Family members, Soka members, cancer patients and President Ikeda & family to stay healthy and happy
2. Family members have strong faith and embrace this Buddhism
3. Get well by end of the year, meet Sensei and pass my report
4. Show actual proof to Dr Leong
5. Able to meet people for kosen rufu
6. Able to do dialogue to at least 3 people per week
7. Able to attend Soka activities
8. Succession of the grand opening of the Mentor & Disciple Hall
One of her prayers was for her “family members to have strong faith and embrace this Buddhism” – Her mission to be born in this family was for us to strengthen our faith in the Gohonzon.
She wanted to “show actual proof to Dr Leong” – Indeed her doctor acknowledged that her calmness in facing this illness was due to her Buddhist practice. In fact, her life has been extended as confessed by her doctor – he feared she could have died in Mar 2010 if not for the quick approval and arrival of the unregistered drug – Nelarabine (which was unexpected).
Also that she was able to pass on peacefully without going into coma or being paralyzed as warned by her doctor earlier. It would have been even more suffering for her should it ended that way.
She also wish to “get well end of the year” – Having received her karma retribution, she had ended her sufferings and will continue on a new mission in the next life in a healthy body.
She wanted to “meet Sensei and pass her report to Sensei” – Although she did not have a chance to meet Sensei in person, her unwavering faith, hope, courage and strength for kosen-rufu till the last moment proved the Mentor-Disciple spirit in her.
She obviously experienced one suffering of chemo after another, yet she was able to stay cheerful and happy throughout her treatment, which proved that she had won this battle.
More importantly, she had set a role model in herself for many of us to follow. She had completed her mission for kosen rufu this lifetime.
Now is our turn to follow her example and strive as hard as her, for our own mission in life.
What some of her nurses and friends wrote on her Facebook wall:
Lyn Si,even though I’m not very close to u,I don’t have the chance to be close u or get to know u better,but to me,Lyn Si is a very strong,brave and a girl w/ positive thinking.I keep track on yr fb and blog every time,to know how u are doing. My heart ache when I see how hard u’ve been through the treatment and yet,you can still smile …cheerfully as if u’re not in pain.I truly respect that.u are a girl w/ strong determination and never give up. I remember telling u our birthday actually fall on the same day and u smile at me. In this pass 2 years, when its our birthday, I always think of u. I feel sad that I m the only fortunate one who can celebrate it,while u’re in hospital going through treatment but when I see u’re actually smiling,u make me realize,u are living happily too. I’ll always keep u in my heart. So sorry that I couldn’t make it to your funeral today, but I will always have in mind that,u’re actually alive in everyone’s heart.u’re still here,and will always be. ♥
You will be deeply missed and you always remain in our heart no matter where you’re, Lyn Si. You’re strong indeed. While i was thinking what i had gone thru, what’s mine compared to yours? Nothing! I shouldn’t complain about what i had gone thru. Memories will always be inside my mind and you’re always remembered. I remembered you calling me bird brain and you even drew a pic of it. Sweet memories it’s 😉 ♥
Lyn Si, YOU are the example of a beautiful, strong and powerful woman. Nothing can take you down. NOT EVEN DEATH. It is proven. You are still ALIVE in all of us. I hope you know how much I’ve been missing you. xxx.
Dear Lyn Si, u are the girl who is ey strong and positive minded i meet. U r strong and brave to face everything. may u rest in peace! Missing u so much Lyn Si…. u r strong n lovely girl that i really salute to u. May u rest in peace and u will always in our heart! my deepest condolences to your family.
Dear Lyn Si, I couldn’t believe that u had left us….u are always a strong and lovely person in my heart. May you rest in peace….you are always in my heart and everyone of us will miss you forever!! My deepest condolences to your family…..
Rest in Peace and smile always… Glad you’re in a good place now… Miss you lots… Thanks for all the best moments you gave 5 Trampil and definitely, you are unforgettable to us. We love you lots and Lyn Si, I’m gladd you stayed strong and never did give up. I hope that no matter where we are, you are in our hearts and we are all in yours. ♥
Dear Lyn Si,
My deepest condolences to you and your family…
I may have not known you well…
But one thing i do know is that you’re a warrior that fought hard and fought strong…Your strength & perseverance will always been an inspiration to me…
“I have fought the good fight; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith”
…~2 Timothy 4:7~
And surely, Lyn Si.. you have fought the good fight… May you rest in peace..
Dear lyn si , tho we may not know each other well but i always admire you with your cheerfulness and never die spirit . I’m proud that you’re strong in fighting your illness but God loves you more . He has taken you to a better place . Rest in peace my dear friend . I will always remember you in my prayer . I love you . My condolences to your family . Amin .
Lyn Si, you are the strongest and most optimistic person I’ve known. Always with a smile on yr face! May you rest in peace. My deepest condolences to all at home!
we may not have seen each other in awhile. even may not have the chance to read and feel this message. But wherever you are, you will always be the greatest, strongest and the lovely girl with sweet smile that i ever know. May your soul rest in peace lyn. you will always be oir guatdian angel blessing us with your love….
Lyn Si, the very first president in CGL’s SJAM Unit, my beloved senior with those infectious giggles, an awesome friend, and the strongest fighter I’ve ever met. Your courage and never-say-die attitude is astounding. May you rest in peace Lyn Si, and thank you for being part of my life and the countless others whom you have touched. You will always be remembered. Deepest condolences to the Quah family.
Nadia A. Leonard
My tears couldn’t hold in when I heard. My beloved junior, you have always been my darling with that wide smile and that cheeky laughter. You have stayed strong and your will to fight this with a smile, optimism as well as courage is Amazing. I couldn’t have done it if I were you. Rest in Peace Lyn Si for you have achieved so much and I know, I’m so glad and proud to have you as a friend. With Love…
Dear Lyn Si, i may not know you very well but i will always remember you, a girl who is always so cheerful, good with art, and most importantly, your perseverance – in never giving up, your light shone brightly(through your words, your blog). You’ve fought bravely! Now, may you rest in peace.
Deepest condolences to your family.
Lyn Si, even though we are not really close to each other but i will always remember your happy go lucky spirit and the cheerfullness you brought to the class. Thank you for teaching me add math in form 5 and i always remember you are my neighbour in 5 Terampil. May you rest in peace.